You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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