I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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