i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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