Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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