i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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