just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize