I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Michael Bay diarrhea
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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