did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize