bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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