First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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