Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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