Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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