Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize