happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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