No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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