Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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