I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize