I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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