id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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