So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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