I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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