when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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