I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize