I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just pynch a tree in the face
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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