when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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