And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sorry about my life...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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