Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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