Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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