you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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