I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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