yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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