This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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