but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish there were birth control emojis
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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