tell your sister to shave her snatch
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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