im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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