I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So. Much. Porn.
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