nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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