What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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