What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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