Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize