Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize