it wasn't lemon gatorade
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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