he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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