I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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