News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize