Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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