in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
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no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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