I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize