he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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