I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize